It’s Not About the When It’s About the How

When will I learn… I’ve asked this question a thousand times. I realized if I stop asking myself “when” and start asking myself “how” I can avoid heading down the self deprecating path to shitsville. I hate shitsville, it’s a terrible place. Shitsville only offers up stress and self doubt.

Instead of defaulting to time (when) to fix my issues I reach for actions (how) to resolve them. Asking myself “how can I problem solve” instead of “when will this end” has helped me move past my troubles. As I turn my when’s to how’s I’m able to figure out solutions that keep me moving forward. I don’t want to be stuck, I just can’t always find the words to move past my stuck.

Asking with a “how” instead of a “when” changes the conversation. In changing the conversation we change our out come. “When will I start to live in the moment?” This is like waiting for a day and time for our problem to be solved, not leaving room for problem solving, this keeps us stuck.

“How can I start living in the moment?” This demands us to act, puts our minds to work finding solution that keep us moving forward. (Wish I had figured this one out in my youth)

How to love, how to forgive, how to be happy. It’s all in the doing not in the waiting. Life can be difficult at times, learning to let go of “when” will it be better and focusing on “how” I can make it better seems to be the piece of the puzzle I’ve been missing. 

Laughter Can Distract You From Yourself

Every 4 weeks I visit a waxing salon to get my face, armpits, and downstairs cleaned up. Every 4 weeks I struggle with the embarressment and disgust I feel over my large C-section scar/ akward abominal scar/ strange bellybutton scar from the many surgeries I needed to put my insides back to good after having my daughter.

I see a great gal, she laughs with me instead of giving me that “no stop it, your beautiful” speech. It’s truly refreshing to have someone agree your front side doesn’t exactly look like the norm. Today, in her adoring smile, she said “you look amazing with your clothes on.” I nearly peed myself laughing. She knew just what to say to lighten my awkwardness and make feel comfortable.
I wish all humans were so kind. Thank you friendly neighborhood waxing lady, I’d be lost with out you.

Side note, my daughter was worth every scar. I wouldn’t change a thing.

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