Fear Can Wreck Ya 

I believe it’s imbedded in our culture to do better, to be better, to be the best. 
I’m scared that I won’t make the cut. I could list for you my collection of failures and then tell you some mumbo jumbo about them being life lessons, but that’s not where I’m going with this.

Lessons from some of my failures birthed fear, and when faced with daily tasks like parenting, running a business, or even being a productive family member, I find that fear has me questioning myself about my choices. 

When faced with a new challenge I tend to air on the side of caution, bet ya didn’t know that about me. When fear sets in and the recording goes off in my head “do you really have what it takes to execute this?” It’s this recording that sends me into a tail spin. 

Dear fear please get out of my head. You are making life difficult. 

To rid my mind of it’s endless banter and quite the fear takes work. Being in the moment, mindful of how I’m feeling and how I’m addressing my emotions can be exhausting. Catching myself before the banter turns to worry, then to fear has been a priceless life skill. I hope to carry the skill with me always. 

Quiet my mind so I can be present and at peace. I may never fully master this skill,  but my awareness of it has given me back hours during my day. 

My Big Girl Pants are Giving Me a Wedgie

It all starts with a thought, an idea that will propel my life forward. Then the next thing I know I’m overwhelmed and begging for mercy. I believe I have a sickness LOL, not really. These ideas come to mind and if I don’t act on them they keep me up at night. They nag at any remaining space in my thoughts till I just have to find  away to make things happen.

~Join a support group! Why not, I can fit it in somewhere. Who knew there would be weekly task that would push me so far out of my comfort zone I’d need a map to get back.

~Salon revamp! Sure, so easy to scale back 20 years of business . It’s been 13 days of beating myself up for making the change. Yup forgot to text clients back about appoints on the regular, but along with all of the other loose ends some how it all seems to come together.

~Raise my daughter. On it! She thinks I’m to busy for her, ugg it hearts my heart. I  thank my lucky stars I’ve got the flexibility to change my schedule to be with her more. Starting that in September, I promise.

~Of course it’s time to hire an assistant. Let’s go out and give talks to the local groups of women who are suffering with a loved one that has an addiction. Please let me make a difference in one woman life.

I’ll never stop pushing myself, it’s just who I am. I’m always learning how to improve on my time management and I’m always striving to be thoughtful about how my days are spent away from my kiddo. One things for certain my big girl pants are giving me a wedgie this week.

I do it all for this girl:)

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It Takes A Village

THANK YOU family! THANK YOU friends! THANK YOU clients! A very special THANK YOU to Hadley… You all inspire me to dream, to settle for nothing less than happiness. Your willingness to be dragged along on my journey has meant so very much to me.

It would be arrogant to think I’d ever be able to make a go at this life alone. That I’d accomplish and amount to anything with out a close team of family and friends to help me do so.

I have been pushing hard to make big things happen (dreams). I have so many goals set for myself I’ve pushed aside milestones. I’ve sometimes forgotten to breath and thank the wonderful people around me for their constant support (I’m sending thank you notes right after I post this).

It’s unreal to believe in yourself. Self doubt is second nature, and if I’m not sick to my stomach with anxiety I’m worried about why I’m not sick with anxiety. Cruel joke right?! Or is this the pattern that keeps me moving forward, that keep me asking the universe “what’s next?”. I drive myself crazy and I cry a ton (alone in my car).

I’m head first into a new project and I’ve paused to evaluate weather to continue or to throw in the towel. I spent the day with my kiddo enjoying All the little things we love to do and in the back of my mind, all day this thing (new project) has been nagging at me. I was on the edge of quitting and an email came in. It was in response from a member of a group I’m in. The respond was positive, complimentary even and just like that I’m back in the game. Thank you sweet friend for the encouraging push.

It truly takes a village… I’m convinced now more than ever. I would be nothing with out my village. I love my village! I am messy, I’m successful, and I’m blessed. I am a women with a village. I wouldn’t have it any other way.