Happily Ever Afters Are Messy

IMG_1480

I can put together a pretty kickass pity party, I can really steep in it sometimes. I find myself quickly trying to turn that pity into a positive, cause who the hell doesn’t have struggles these days. I’ve met a huge amount of people in my line of work,  each one has a life struggle, major or not it impacts them in some way or another. What I’ve taken from these amazing poeple and thier life stories is that “Happily Ever Afters” are messy.

You never start out with the intention to lead a diffulcult life. We don’t grow up wishing for things to be tragic, so why do some of us find it diffucult to look on the bright side. I’ll never be certain what is in someone else’s head or how they interpret the world around them, if I had to make a guess, some of us got it wrong.  We are searching for a not so messy “Happliy Ever After” like the one in the movies. Spoiler alert! We ain’t ever gonna find it (not how we think that is). It’s like Santa, a great legend that brings us smiles and hope, but isn’t tangible. (Nothing against Santa, I love the holiday!)

Changing your mind set can be a powerful thing, now there is no need to lie to ourselves and say everything is coming up roses, but could, when the negitive recordings go off in our brains, it be possible to talk ourselves off the “my life sucks” ledge…

Could we train ourselves to be brighter side of life people…

Could that brighter side be the “Happliy Ever After” some of us think we are missing…

Can we be taught that happy is not perfect, it’s messy…

Can we learn to love our mess and think of it less as a struggle and more like a journey, not a journey that will end, but one that will continuly change…

Can we accept the moving pieces of change and be happy with that…

I vote yes! I would much rather live a life looking at a messy “Happily Ever After” than no “Happily Ever After” at all. Besides a pity party really eats into my much coveted free time.

Quitting VS. Moving On

Quitter!

It’s all too often when we change direction in life and exit the “something” we are trying, someone calls us out on it. Quitter! We seem to scramble to make excuses why we are not quitters and in fact we had good reason to move on from our endeavor.

Here are a few of my recent Quits or were they?

  1. I blindly signed up with a business coaching group. I believe there is much for me to learn and in my hast for help I fell quickly into the “don’t ask any question, just giver her my money, she said she has a solution” category. Now with that said I have learned a ton from this woman and she has helped my business tremendously, but what she is selling isn’t where I see myself in the future.  I’m not working to my potential and I’m not following instructions. I’m taking what I can and making the projects happen, but not how she is instructing us. This is a costly design, Quitter! Maybe so, but who’s to say when I’m getting results.
  2.  I started counting calories, I did great for months, lost some weight, was feeling so good. What happen you ask, I got busy, stressed, not enough hours in the day, blah blah blah. Plain and simple I quit, I quit on the task, I quit on myself and I quit on the purpose of being healthier and happier with my own body. Boooo, Bad me. This is a clear case of Quitting, so I began again and I will do it better this time because I recognize my triggers that stopped me, this time I will move (trip) past the triggers and work towards my goals and not focus on my failures. Focus on the success, how small they maybe. Calorie counting I love you! I may quit again, who knows, but each time I start, and I will start again, it will get easier to move away from the quitting pattern and follow through to triumph. Wooo!
  3.  I recently was given a health warning, my gut isn’t good and needs a reset. The Master Cleanse was suggested and after researching it I gave it a go. Well I made it 2 days, they suggest 10. The vomiting and nausea got my questioning, where is the love? The headache and dizziness sent me to google, what is an alternative to what I was doing. Start eating food again, ahhh simple, I like that. I quit the cleanse (10day food fast). Quitter! or am I ? I have an awareness now that I didn’t before and I learned a ton about where I should take my food consumption for my gut issues. When faced with my quitting the cleanse I didn’t turn to my standard oreo for comfort, I went to problem solving and eating vegetables. I feel like it’s a win.

Do you see what I’m saying… When is it quitting, giving up and when is it moving on for the greater good of your self, your life.

What a horrible feeling to look in the mirror and face the hard truth that when the going gets tough I hightail it for the OREO’s and excuses. I hate that feeling, but today I didn’t take it there. I didn’t go to “Quitter Land”, today I went straight to moving on, today I made the connection that I tried, things don’t always fit at the moment and that ok. These things can be tried again in the future. There is no one grading me on any of this.  I only answer to me and I have to do what’s right for me (Only then will it all be right with the universe).

It Takes A Village

THANK YOU family! THANK YOU friends! THANK YOU clients! A very special THANK YOU to Hadley… You all inspire me to dream, to settle for nothing less than happiness. Your willingness to be dragged along on my journey has meant so very much to me.

It would be arrogant to think I’d ever be able to make a go at this life alone. That I’d accomplish and amount to anything with out a close team of family and friends to help me do so.

I have been pushing hard to make big things happen (dreams). I have so many goals set for myself I’ve pushed aside milestones. I’ve sometimes forgotten to breath and thank the wonderful people around me for their constant support (I’m sending thank you notes right after I post this).

It’s unreal to believe in yourself. Self doubt is second nature, and if I’m not sick to my stomach with anxiety I’m worried about why I’m not sick with anxiety. Cruel joke right?! Or is this the pattern that keeps me moving forward, that keep me asking the universe “what’s next?”. I drive myself crazy and I cry a ton (alone in my car).

I’m head first into a new project and I’ve paused to evaluate weather to continue or to throw in the towel. I spent the day with my kiddo enjoying All the little things we love to do and in the back of my mind, all day this thing (new project) has been nagging at me. I was on the edge of quitting and an email came in. It was in response from a member of a group I’m in. The respond was positive, complimentary even and just like that I’m back in the game. Thank you sweet friend for the encouraging push.

It truly takes a village… I’m convinced now more than ever. I would be nothing with out my village. I love my village! I am messy, I’m successful, and I’m blessed. I am a women with a village. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Booby Pins And Hair Pins Are Different

Bobby pins are the work horse of hair dos. Paired with hairspray bobby pins are unstoppable. So how come your Mom never showed you how to use them? Why is it my hairdresser never mentioned it?
Sometimes we don’t get answers because we don’t know the question to ask. Your Mom probably never used them or maybe was plagued by them in her youth. Your hairdresser most likely has made the assumption you know what a bobby pin is and how to use it.
Bobby pins can be found at the drugstore in the hair accessories section. They will most likely cost 3 dollars for a package.
Great so now what?
Using bobby pins does take practice, but should be a quick study.
Bobby pins need friends, a support team if you will. Where one goes a second must cross it to ensure a secured hair do. Clarification… the bobby pins should look like an “X” after you’ve slid them both into your hair. Once you’ve got the hang of this step modification can be made to your “X”.
Now is where the hair pin comes into play. Hair pins are the backup crew. They can smooth out or tuck in any bits of your hair do that hasn’t cooperated and laid nice against your head. These pins should be anchored with existing bobby pins. You tubing a “how to” on this will be a game changer.
MY Basic pinning of any hair, even if it’s just to put a few side pieces back.
1.Start with a small section of hair.
2.Hairspray the section then curl or twist it.
3.Hold the hair where you would like it to be then pin it in place with a bobby pin.
4.Cris cross your placed pin with a second pin to form your “X”.
5.Respray with hairspray. Yes folks more hairspray!
Hopefully this helps get you started down the path of hairdo success.
Practice makes perfect, luckily with hair you don’t have to be perfect.
Happy pinning!

It’s Sanity Not Vanity

So many of us question the importance of our appearance. We spend money on teeth whiting but walk around with a grease ponytail for days (nothing wrong with that), it’s unbalanced. Many folks slather on sunblock all summer long,” don’t want to ruin my skin” yet never moisturize their face for the rest of the year, also unbalanced. It’s a dirty little secret that most of us care about how we look, we’ve just been shamed into making less of an effort so as not to be deemed vain. It’s not vanity people, it’s sanity! You look good on the out side, I promise it will help you feel good on the inside.
What is to much effort? When have we gone to far with making ourselves look better? Open up any tabloid magazine and you will see the pages filled you celebrity’s who have taken “looking good” to far. This is NOT what I’m talking about.
I teach my clients simple beauty… Fast, affordable ways to get you looking your best and out the door in the morning. It takes 10 days to form a beauty habit, I dare all of you to start using a face cream (one suitable for your skin type) the fine lines and dark spots will soften, making the effort of looking beautiful easier everyday. Yup, it’s that easy, squeeze lotion in hand, rub on face, 10 sec your done. Yes Timed it! I promise that 10 sec will save your skin and help maintain that youthful glow.

Don’t give up. Don’t put it at the bottom of the todo list. The smallest bit of time on yourself can make a huge impact. I am a busy Mom. I do run a successful business 60 hours a week, I never leave the house with out putting on a bit of concealer and mascara. I am not crazy and I don’t have a nanny. I take the 3mins for myself to do something that makes me feel confident and beautiful. I do it with out regret and it feels good. Join me, leave your comfort zone and add something to your beauty routine. Try it for the ten days, if it’s a “no go” then you can say you tried. Don’t give up though, find a new beauty thing to try. You can do this!