Happily Ever Afters Are Messy

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I can put together a pretty kickass pity party, I can really steep in it sometimes. I find myself quickly trying to turn that pity into a positive, cause who the hell doesn’t have struggles these days. I’ve met a huge amount of people in my line of work,  each one has a life struggle, major or not it impacts them in some way or another. What I’ve taken from these amazing poeple and thier life stories is that “Happily Ever Afters” are messy.

You never start out with the intention to lead a diffulcult life. We don’t grow up wishing for things to be tragic, so why do some of us find it diffucult to look on the bright side. I’ll never be certain what is in someone else’s head or how they interpret the world around them, if I had to make a guess, some of us got it wrong.  We are searching for a not so messy “Happliy Ever After” like the one in the movies. Spoiler alert! We ain’t ever gonna find it (not how we think that is). It’s like Santa, a great legend that brings us smiles and hope, but isn’t tangible. (Nothing against Santa, I love the holiday!)

Changing your mind set can be a powerful thing, now there is no need to lie to ourselves and say everything is coming up roses, but could, when the negitive recordings go off in our brains, it be possible to talk ourselves off the “my life sucks” ledge…

Could we train ourselves to be brighter side of life people…

Could that brighter side be the “Happliy Ever After” some of us think we are missing…

Can we be taught that happy is not perfect, it’s messy…

Can we learn to love our mess and think of it less as a struggle and more like a journey, not a journey that will end, but one that will continuly change…

Can we accept the moving pieces of change and be happy with that…

I vote yes! I would much rather live a life looking at a messy “Happily Ever After” than no “Happily Ever After” at all. Besides a pity party really eats into my much coveted free time.

I Hate That The Number Matters

I’m 38 (so close to 40). 5’2″(with my shoes on). I wear a size 10 pant (31 in a fancy brand). My shoes are a 6.5 (small feet make for poor balance, but a great selection at the store). I’m 148 lbs (on any given day could be 154 lbs, I get super bloated). I know it shouldn’t, but some of  these numbers bother the hell out of me.

The 38 thing really doesn’t, it’s only when doctors start talking about the new an exciting things that have to be done because I’m aging, then I’m bothered.

5’2″ well, that’s a tough one. Somedays short is where it’s at, other days I’m spending $200.00 to get my new pants taken up. I’d rather be spending $200.00 on more pants, maybe a top.

Size 10, now there is where we hit complicated. The world media is telling me I should be a size 4. My very wide shoulders and hips are saying nothing smaller than an 8 for me. It’s enough to drive me crazy. I’ve learned to ignore the numbers in my clothing, it’s better that way.

My only sadness I have around my 6.5s is if they were more like 7.5s would I be less clumsy, just a thought not a complaint.  🙂

148 lbs is where I loose it, I know if I feel good in my clothes the number shouldn’t matter, I hate that the number matters! For years I obsessively weighed myself each morning. The out come of my day sometimes rode on that number. I had to brake up with my scale, it’s been freeing. But I’m back on the crazy train.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have lived in the Marlin Monroe era where curvy and mature were sexy and sought after.

I was out with a friend recently, so excited to see her, when it came time to order she order veggies, she is a vegan, and I ordered a fish dish and we each ordered wine. No apps, we passed on the bread, the waiters response was “Watching what we eat ladies”, he had the biggest grin on his face, as if he’d just won a round of trivia pursuit. What an ass! So two sized 10 women ordering delicious fish and veggies gets perceived as two big ladies who need to drop a few lbs. I had to dig deep not to tell him to shove it. “NO”, was my brilliant response. It’s a hard truth to swallow that 5’2″, size 10 women are considered to be large. I believe if we had ordered apps, bread and big meals he probably would  have  thought to himself  “those big ladies need to ease up on the intake”. It shouldn’t be this way. There is no way around  hearing peoples perceptions or opinions, but I would love it if those perceptions and opinions had a broader scope on women’s body types.

I’m sad that my struggles will one day be my daughters (efforts and fingers crossed it won’t be). I wish the ideal women was portrayed larger and curvier than a 12 year old boy. Slender and svelte, I am on your side. Tall, tight and toned, I get it, that is beautiful. But could short and wide join the ranks of ideal beauty, PLEASE.

P.S.

We were both, my friend and I, wearing fantastic outfits, our hair and makeup was flawless. That waiter has a lot to learn on how to get better tips. The art of giving compliments should be his next college course.

Booby Pins And Hair Pins Are Different

Bobby pins are the work horse of hair dos. Paired with hairspray bobby pins are unstoppable. So how come your Mom never showed you how to use them? Why is it my hairdresser never mentioned it?
Sometimes we don’t get answers because we don’t know the question to ask. Your Mom probably never used them or maybe was plagued by them in her youth. Your hairdresser most likely has made the assumption you know what a bobby pin is and how to use it.
Bobby pins can be found at the drugstore in the hair accessories section. They will most likely cost 3 dollars for a package.
Great so now what?
Using bobby pins does take practice, but should be a quick study.
Bobby pins need friends, a support team if you will. Where one goes a second must cross it to ensure a secured hair do. Clarification… the bobby pins should look like an “X” after you’ve slid them both into your hair. Once you’ve got the hang of this step modification can be made to your “X”.
Now is where the hair pin comes into play. Hair pins are the backup crew. They can smooth out or tuck in any bits of your hair do that hasn’t cooperated and laid nice against your head. These pins should be anchored with existing bobby pins. You tubing a “how to” on this will be a game changer.
MY Basic pinning of any hair, even if it’s just to put a few side pieces back.
1.Start with a small section of hair.
2.Hairspray the section then curl or twist it.
3.Hold the hair where you would like it to be then pin it in place with a bobby pin.
4.Cris cross your placed pin with a second pin to form your “X”.
5.Respray with hairspray. Yes folks more hairspray!
Hopefully this helps get you started down the path of hairdo success.
Practice makes perfect, luckily with hair you don’t have to be perfect.
Happy pinning!

It’s Sanity Not Vanity

So many of us question the importance of our appearance. We spend money on teeth whiting but walk around with a grease ponytail for days (nothing wrong with that), it’s unbalanced. Many folks slather on sunblock all summer long,” don’t want to ruin my skin” yet never moisturize their face for the rest of the year, also unbalanced. It’s a dirty little secret that most of us care about how we look, we’ve just been shamed into making less of an effort so as not to be deemed vain. It’s not vanity people, it’s sanity! You look good on the out side, I promise it will help you feel good on the inside.
What is to much effort? When have we gone to far with making ourselves look better? Open up any tabloid magazine and you will see the pages filled you celebrity’s who have taken “looking good” to far. This is NOT what I’m talking about.
I teach my clients simple beauty… Fast, affordable ways to get you looking your best and out the door in the morning. It takes 10 days to form a beauty habit, I dare all of you to start using a face cream (one suitable for your skin type) the fine lines and dark spots will soften, making the effort of looking beautiful easier everyday. Yup, it’s that easy, squeeze lotion in hand, rub on face, 10 sec your done. Yes Timed it! I promise that 10 sec will save your skin and help maintain that youthful glow.

Don’t give up. Don’t put it at the bottom of the todo list. The smallest bit of time on yourself can make a huge impact. I am a busy Mom. I do run a successful business 60 hours a week, I never leave the house with out putting on a bit of concealer and mascara. I am not crazy and I don’t have a nanny. I take the 3mins for myself to do something that makes me feel confident and beautiful. I do it with out regret and it feels good. Join me, leave your comfort zone and add something to your beauty routine. Try it for the ten days, if it’s a “no go” then you can say you tried. Don’t give up though, find a new beauty thing to try. You can do this!

When will we be free from the bad hair cut…

One of the biggest compliments I’ve gotten in my career is that I’m consistent. Although I wish the word “consistent” were frilly and exciting or grand, alas I love that consistent perfectly describes the service and quality that you will all get when you are sitting in my chair. Consistency means, to me, never having to fear your hair person is having a bad day and will hack your hair up.

With that said, consistency can challenging. My job isn’t only to do hair, it’s to love the purpose of beauty and deliver that love to each one of my clients. I take pride in developing  relationships with my clients so I can understand them,and the hair they need, better. I teach folks how to manage their hair in their busy lives. I show people you don’t have to sacrifice and ignore the outer you to be a better inner you. The two can, and should, live together in harmony. I know the ins and outs of hair so well I’ve cultivated and maintained consistency, there is a formula to being great at your job (any job), and It’s start by letting go of being a “know it all”.  The more you know the more people you can work with, the more you can work with the more people you can help, the more people you can help the better you and your bank account will feel. Yes I mentioned money, I’m not greedy, just truthful and realty based.

To help see if your stylist can be consistent, try finding a picture of a haircut that you’d be interested in.  Ask for the same haircut three visits in a row (make sure you bring the same picture each time). You being committed to one style for a longer period of time will help test your stylist ability to recreate a hair do you love. If by the end of the third haircut you feel like your hair person gets it, your in! You’ve found your mothership. If you’re feeling a bit underwhelmed and slightly disappointed you have my permission to find a new stylist.