You Will Always Have Love

I was 28 when a women next to me at a bar turned abruptly to me and said “You’ll birth a baby girl”.

“Who me?” Little did she know that wasn’t medically possible for me.

“I’m a bit drunk and I’m a medium. There is this nagging something that wants you to know you’ll birth a baby girl”.

I thanked her, I smiled and walked away with my delicious drink. I remember thinking she should slow down she’s had way to much of the good stuff.

I was 35 when the ultrasound tech announced I was having a girl.

Really…

How in Gods name did you get that info from all that fuzzy stuff on that tiny screen and holy hell that lady was right!

Instantly the conversation with the drunk lady in that bar played in my head like a movie.

How did she know!!!!!!

I was rocked to my core. Plenty of drunk strangers have said weird things to me… this one was different. This lady was right.

Last year I came across a lovely women while looking for insight and answers into a long drawn out battle with myself, stay in my marriage or leave.

I had exhausted self help books, therapist, support groups, a local pastor, and all sorts of other traditional “please help me get right with my life” stuff that I could come up with.

Kim was a breath of fresh air. She is a spiritual advisor, she has the ability to channel different energies that show her information. Skeptical right, I know I was, but I was open to anything at this point. The universe literally put her in front of me at a friends house. I won’t go into a ton of detail, but know this, she knew nothing about me. I had never met her. She spent less than 5 min. talking with me before she started her reading with me.

The first thing she said is your first child is always with you. What!!!!! How could she have known I had a miscarriage. Parlor trick?

The second thing she referenced was the “how I found out I was having a girl” situation.

Wait what? I sat still and silent as she tried to explain what the energy/spirt was showing her. “A blonde in a bar who knew before you did? Does that sound right?” She said. My mouth dropped…. there is no way she could come up with that!!!!

I have never included the color of the women’s hair when I retell that story.

Kim, I have got some questions for you!!!

I met with Kim 3 times over the last year. She is lovely. Soft spoken and unobtrusive.

At the end of our last session together she said “they want you to know, no matter what, you will always have love. You will always love and be loved. You won’t be alone”.

It wasn’t till she said it that I was aware of how scared I really was of losing one of the greatest loves I’ve known. Even though it had gone south. I was scared I’d never love again. It was in her words I found the peace and strength to remember “better to have loved and felt loss than never to have loved at all.” With Kim’s final words that day she completed a puzzle that had tore me up for years, stay or leave. Leave because I love myself, leave because I love Hadley, leave because I love him, leave because we all deserve a life less tortured. Leave because we all deserve to be loved in a way that brings us joy.

I’m thankful to have known love and be afraid to lose that love.

Imagine never knowing love… I just can’t.

I believe we’d be lost without love.

I’m driven by my love and am hopefull I’ll find it again.

Happily Ever Afters Are Messy

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I can put together a pretty kickass pity party, I can really steep in it sometimes. I find myself quickly trying to turn that pity into a positive, cause who the hell doesn’t have struggles these days. I’ve met a huge amount of people in my line of work,  each one has a life struggle, major or not it impacts them in some way or another. What I’ve taken from these amazing poeple and thier life stories is that “Happily Ever Afters” are messy.

You never start out with the intention to lead a diffulcult life. We don’t grow up wishing for things to be tragic, so why do some of us find it diffucult to look on the bright side. I’ll never be certain what is in someone else’s head or how they interpret the world around them, if I had to make a guess, some of us got it wrong.  We are searching for a not so messy “Happliy Ever After” like the one in the movies. Spoiler alert! We ain’t ever gonna find it (not how we think that is). It’s like Santa, a great legend that brings us smiles and hope, but isn’t tangible. (Nothing against Santa, I love the holiday!)

Changing your mind set can be a powerful thing, now there is no need to lie to ourselves and say everything is coming up roses, but could, when the negitive recordings go off in our brains, it be possible to talk ourselves off the “my life sucks” ledge…

Could we train ourselves to be brighter side of life people…

Could that brighter side be the “Happliy Ever After” some of us think we are missing…

Can we be taught that happy is not perfect, it’s messy…

Can we learn to love our mess and think of it less as a struggle and more like a journey, not a journey that will end, but one that will continuly change…

Can we accept the moving pieces of change and be happy with that…

I vote yes! I would much rather live a life looking at a messy “Happily Ever After” than no “Happily Ever After” at all. Besides a pity party really eats into my much coveted free time.

Quitting VS. Moving On

Quitter!

It’s all too often when we change direction in life and exit the “something” we are trying, someone calls us out on it. Quitter! We seem to scramble to make excuses why we are not quitters and in fact we had good reason to move on from our endeavor.

Here are a few of my recent Quits or were they?

  1. I blindly signed up with a business coaching group. I believe there is much for me to learn and in my hast for help I fell quickly into the “don’t ask any question, just giver her my money, she said she has a solution” category. Now with that said I have learned a ton from this woman and she has helped my business tremendously, but what she is selling isn’t where I see myself in the future.  I’m not working to my potential and I’m not following instructions. I’m taking what I can and making the projects happen, but not how she is instructing us. This is a costly design, Quitter! Maybe so, but who’s to say when I’m getting results.
  2.  I started counting calories, I did great for months, lost some weight, was feeling so good. What happen you ask, I got busy, stressed, not enough hours in the day, blah blah blah. Plain and simple I quit, I quit on the task, I quit on myself and I quit on the purpose of being healthier and happier with my own body. Boooo, Bad me. This is a clear case of Quitting, so I began again and I will do it better this time because I recognize my triggers that stopped me, this time I will move (trip) past the triggers and work towards my goals and not focus on my failures. Focus on the success, how small they maybe. Calorie counting I love you! I may quit again, who knows, but each time I start, and I will start again, it will get easier to move away from the quitting pattern and follow through to triumph. Wooo!
  3.  I recently was given a health warning, my gut isn’t good and needs a reset. The Master Cleanse was suggested and after researching it I gave it a go. Well I made it 2 days, they suggest 10. The vomiting and nausea got my questioning, where is the love? The headache and dizziness sent me to google, what is an alternative to what I was doing. Start eating food again, ahhh simple, I like that. I quit the cleanse (10day food fast). Quitter! or am I ? I have an awareness now that I didn’t before and I learned a ton about where I should take my food consumption for my gut issues. When faced with my quitting the cleanse I didn’t turn to my standard oreo for comfort, I went to problem solving and eating vegetables. I feel like it’s a win.

Do you see what I’m saying… When is it quitting, giving up and when is it moving on for the greater good of your self, your life.

What a horrible feeling to look in the mirror and face the hard truth that when the going gets tough I hightail it for the OREO’s and excuses. I hate that feeling, but today I didn’t take it there. I didn’t go to “Quitter Land”, today I went straight to moving on, today I made the connection that I tried, things don’t always fit at the moment and that ok. These things can be tried again in the future. There is no one grading me on any of this.  I only answer to me and I have to do what’s right for me (Only then will it all be right with the universe).

Booby Pins And Hair Pins Are Different

Bobby pins are the work horse of hair dos. Paired with hairspray bobby pins are unstoppable. So how come your Mom never showed you how to use them? Why is it my hairdresser never mentioned it?
Sometimes we don’t get answers because we don’t know the question to ask. Your Mom probably never used them or maybe was plagued by them in her youth. Your hairdresser most likely has made the assumption you know what a bobby pin is and how to use it.
Bobby pins can be found at the drugstore in the hair accessories section. They will most likely cost 3 dollars for a package.
Great so now what?
Using bobby pins does take practice, but should be a quick study.
Bobby pins need friends, a support team if you will. Where one goes a second must cross it to ensure a secured hair do. Clarification… the bobby pins should look like an “X” after you’ve slid them both into your hair. Once you’ve got the hang of this step modification can be made to your “X”.
Now is where the hair pin comes into play. Hair pins are the backup crew. They can smooth out or tuck in any bits of your hair do that hasn’t cooperated and laid nice against your head. These pins should be anchored with existing bobby pins. You tubing a “how to” on this will be a game changer.
MY Basic pinning of any hair, even if it’s just to put a few side pieces back.
1.Start with a small section of hair.
2.Hairspray the section then curl or twist it.
3.Hold the hair where you would like it to be then pin it in place with a bobby pin.
4.Cris cross your placed pin with a second pin to form your “X”.
5.Respray with hairspray. Yes folks more hairspray!
Hopefully this helps get you started down the path of hairdo success.
Practice makes perfect, luckily with hair you don’t have to be perfect.
Happy pinning!